Yes Sir, I can boogie ....... but can I do 72 holes in 1 day. Sunday. The weather forecast does not look too good, but at least I will not overheat.
As a reminder of why I am going this, I wrote down a log of how I felt in the run up to taking over as captain and how I was feeling throughout the winter. Contrast that to what you see now, and you will realise just how important mental health is and how important support networks are.
I was appointed Captain of Pryors Hayes Golf Club for the 2021 season. It is probably the greatest achievement of my life. This is no ordinary golf club. The membership is down to earth and have no airs and graces. I should fit in well.
However, once I thought about it, I began to panic.
I don’t mix well with people. I will have to stand up and give speeches. What am I going to talk about? I know absolutely nothing about these people. They all mix in their own little groups and never include me in anything they get up to.
Can I afford it? Previous Captains have never been slow to splash the cash, buying everyone drinks, making sure that the prizes on offer are the best money can buy and always offer big cash prizes. On my income, I will not be able to compete. I will look a right cheapskate and the members will all be talking about me.
Where will I get my Captain’s Blazer from? All the Tailors are shut. I could look online, but they will never have my size. Besides, even if they did have my size, would they have the colour I need. Green Jackets are not common. Even if I found one, would it be the same shade of green as every other Captain’s Jacket. I will look a right idiot in Group photographs if my jacket is a different colour to everyone else’s.
And then there is the Captains Charity. All the Past Captains are bragging about how much they raised. Not only do I have to find a Charity worth raising funds for, but I must also think of ways of raising funds. How do I get sponsors to donate prizes? Companies and Golf Clubs have all suffered from lockdown and will surely be unwilling to help. I do not have any contacts within golf that I can turn to.
Still, I can take them away for a good break for a couple of days playing golf. But how can I organise everything when everything is closed. I can’t even ask people to come as our own club is closed and I can’t see anyone. I am going to end up booking an expensive trip, nobody will be interested in coming and I will be left to pay for it.
I really thought this was turning into the biggest mistake of my life. How did I ever think I would be able to do this? Captains are all extroverts and here is little old me that is not any good at the game anyway. Why did I sign up for this? All it was doing is giving me stress and making me ill.
Even when lockdowns were lifted, I could not even play golf as I had developed arthritis in my knees, which was preventing me from walking. And the more I could not play, the more unfit I became and felt in even more pain.
And then to cap it all, the Country went into Lockdown again in January 2021, which was the final nail in my coffin. There was no one at the Club to help and advise me on what I needed to do. I never felt more alone in my life. I just felt like staying in bed all the time.
One blessing was that there seemed no way out of the lockdown. I thought maybe we would be in lockdown for the entire year, and I could get away with it.
And then, it was announced that Lockdown restrictions would be gradually lifted, and we could start playing Golf from 29th March.
Oh God, this is really happening. I had been delaying everything and suddenly, I had 6 weeks to get everything in place. First instinct was to run and hide away from the world. After all, everyone knew I suffered from anxiety and depression. They would all appreciate my predicament and would understand. But again, that is not true. The reason I chose The Club Talks as my chosen Charity was not just to help those who were in the same boat as me, but to educate fellow members of the Club on what it is like to suffer and help them to understand how they could help people like me. They won’t understand, but perhaps, if I explained to a few select people about my Charity and what I wanted to do, that would be a good first step.
I gave a presentation of what the Charity is all about at the first Committee Meeting of the Year. It went down well, and no one questioned what I wanted to do. Some seemed really interested. If I can sell it to these guys, maybe I can sell it to the Club. Now we are starting to get somewhere.
So, what else am I afraid of?
You are afraid of giving speeches. Well, I have to give presentations as part of my job and it is something I thrive in. All I needed to do was gather the facts and make sure that I get the message across. Yes, I may struggle communicating with people one-on-one, but I am experienced at presenting to large groups. That should not be an issue.
They may still interact in their little groups, but I need to realise they still interact with me. No one blatantly ignores me. They do not invite me to midweek outings because they know I am working. If I work out a schedule when I am available, I am sure that they will involve me if they know I am available.
So, can I afford it. Well to help, the Committee give you an honorarium. It does not cover anywhere near what you need to spend, but it will help. Also, I do not need to pay for membership when I am Captain. What I need to do is work out what prizes I need and stick to a budget. Who cares what others have spent? This is my year, and I should put my own stamp on it.
Next up is the Jacket. That is easy. Just ask the past Captain what make his Jacket is. Yes, the shop he went to is closed, but if I look online, I am sure I could find something. Guess what happened, I found an excellent fashion warehouse that could supply the same make of jacket for £40 cheaper.
I knew I was on a run here, but how am I going to attract prizes to auction or raffle to raise funds. This would prove difficult surely as I would have to negotiate, and I am useless at that. It was especially daunting as the Past Captain had warned me to expect people to either say no or just ignore your request.
But what if I made it clear what I wanted and why I wanted it. If I could get a standard template that I could tailor, outlining the aims of the charity and what I was planning to do to raise funds, that would surely help. First job was to get an example of what a previous Captain had used. That was extremely useful but needed a lot of amending to make it say what I wanted. But now I had something I was comfortable using. Now to get it circulated.
I wrote off to about 20 Golf Clubs, mainly ones who we have supported by arranging visits in the past years. The advice I got was right; many simply ignored my request. However, I got a couple of Golf Clubs who sent back vouchers for 4-balls that I could auction. Yes, it was disappointing to be rejected or ignored, but nothing like the high that I got when someone agreed to support me. This just spurred me on to continue searching, widening my search to include clubs we had never visited before. Slowly but surely, I was getting people to support me. Eventually, I decided to throw caution to the wind and go for some big clubs. I ended up with 21 vouchers for 4-balls, including 3 of the top clubs in the Northwest.
By mid-April, it was time to look for other prizes. What I thought would be good would be to get some signed memorabilia from the professionals. I trawled through Google, Facebook, and Twitter to get contact details of my favourite Professionals. Again, I was able to use my standard template to tell them all about The Club Talks but had to amend it to say what I would do with their donations, along with showing them that I had researched who they were. Responses were very slow in coming in and I did fear I would not get anything. However, the elation in my face when I received an email from Tommy Fleetwood’s fan club to say they would send me something was amazing. I also broadened my search to include Lady Golfers as well. It is vital that the Ladies interests are considered, so I thought I would try and get some donations from the Lady professionals. Overall, I have had a good response and I have ended up following a lot of the golfers who have donated – it is not easy trying to find out how Gill Dryburgh is doing in the Symetra tour in the states.
In parallel with approaching the pro’s, I also approached some of the big golf manufacturers and stores. Again, there were a lot of rejections, but also a few donations, from some big companies as well. I will ensure that our club members know who has supported me and I will encourage them to support these Companies.
So now I have everything in place for my year. I have also run my first charity event and raised £1,650 which was excellent, considering we could not use the Clubhouse to hold auctions or raffles. What then can we take from this journey?
It did seem daunting at the beginning and these fears were real. I really do suffer from anxiety and depression as well as having a big inferiority complex. However, no job is unsurmountable. Never run and hide from your fears. Always face them up front. Things are never quite as bad as you fear.
Always break things down into manageable chunks that you can handle. It may take you a bit longer to get to the end, but you will get there in the end.
And the biggest lesson to learn is to ask for help. Do not bottle things up and try and do things on your own. Often, others have been through the same thing before, and their experience can help.
As I said earlier, this is not just about raising money; it is about raising awareness and getting people to help those who need it.
During my Captaincy, I want to do all I can to help The Club Talks with what it wants to achieve. They have given me a lot of encouragement to date, and I will do all I can to help them back.
So, if you can join me, I will be playing 4 rounds of golf on the day teeing off at 6:00, 9:16, 13:32 and 17:32.
If you cannot join me, please can you sponsor me by either:
Logging on to my JustGiving page.
Making a payment to my bank account, Sort Code: 09-01-28, Account Number: 69144315.
Leaving a donation in the shop.
Even £1 can go toward providing help to someone suffering mental health issues. I hope to see some of you on Sunday
